Hands up who has lost their temper this week???

Who has ‘lost their rag!’ ‘blown their top’ or ‘gone off the deep end’!!!

The truth is we all do it from time to time. Some more than others. It can be because someone used the last of the toilet roll and didn’t replace it to someone cutting you off in the car.

There are countless ways that can lead us to losing our temper, sometimes it makes us feel better, but if we’re honest, sometimes we regret it afterwards.

In this blog I’m going to look at three simple things we can do to stay positive or optimistic in a negative situation. Let’s look at:

  • Find an optimistic viewpoint in a negative situation
  • Accept what’s happened and find a solution
  • Be grateful for what you have

Find an optimistic viewpoint in a negative situation

So today was my first session with my new counsellor. Before you say anything my old counsellor got a new job. I didn’t break her down to the point she couldn’t work with me anymore 🙂

I’ve not had counselling for about a month now whilst waiting for my new counsellor so I was a bit anxious about it but ready to get going again.

Anyway, long story short, as I walked through the door, it became apparent to us both that we knew each other from a while back. I couldn’t believe it!!! It’s a small world after all. This meant it wouldn’t work for us.

Shocked Man

Now I could have blamed this and that in the procedure, or used it as an excuse not to go again. I could have got on the phone to my wife and had a big finger pointing session. Effing this and effing that.

The point is it was nobody’s fault. Yes there probably are things that could have made this situation better. The facts are I want to see a new counsellor and they are trying to set me up with one. I shouldn’t take the easy way out and use my depression or anxiety as an excuse to start acting negatively and being a tool.

The positives here are:

  • I’m still getting a new counsellor
  • This episode got me out the house (and the weather was great, sunsheeeeiiiinnee all the way!)
  • I got an experience where I could try and not ‘lose my rag’
  • Aaaaand I’ve got something to write about in my blog 🙂

Accept what’s happened and find a solution

This is a great way of putting a positive spin on things.

Think about it. By finding a solution you have a positive way forward that suits all those involved. After all if it doesn’t suit everyone you don’t agree that’s the way forward.

Also, by accepting what’s happened, it’s easier to not stew on it. When we stew on things we stay in a negative state as we’re almost sat there trying to point blame. This doesn’t do anyone any good. Least of all you and your mental health.

I’m not dwelling on what happened, trying to uncover all the tiny little details that could have prevented my situation happening. Instead, I still have a good relationship with the counselling place which means I can work with them moving forward. No bridges have been burnt. Also I start with a new counsellor next week. All good.

Be grateful for what you have

Always an obvious one but one we often forget about.

When we get p*ssed off with what life has dealt us, we think about the bad things and how hard done to we are. It’s really easy to forget the good things we have in life.

Now back in the day there was this old dude called Maslow. He designed this pyramid diagram called the Hierarchy of Needs. I’m really dumbing it down here but is basically states that to grow as a human, we need a set of things before we can move on to the next level.

For example, the bottom lot of needs are things like food, water and shelter. Then when we have these we need safety and security. Then when we have these we need social belonging. It goes on and is quite interesting if you like that sort of thing.

So why am I rambling on about this guy Maslow and his diagram. Well basically in this illustration it shows me that I’ve got a lot to be grateful for. We need to take the time every once in a while to realise that. Then some of the little things that can cause us to go off the handle, get put into perspective.

So there we are. 3 simple things we can all do to help us maintain good mental health, whilst also being good people.

Take care of yourselves 🙂

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